Peaks and Valleys

A commenter said that grief goes through a series of peaks and valleys.  I'm so glad someone shared that with me!  I thought I was healing and getting back to my old self - however today, I don't feel that way.  I feel so overwhelmed with everything and I can't bring myself to focus on anything positive.  Ugh.  I saw my dr last week and he has referred me to the clinic's counselor.  Just waiting for an appointment.

Aunt Flow has yet to arrive.  I guess the spotting early last week was just a tease.  I have never been so eager for her visit than now.  I just want to move on and having my next cycle, and the testing that will accompany it will be a sign that we are moving forward.  Also, given it is nearing the end of the year, I would love it if I could get the testing done and see the Dr for the results before year end. I get a certain amount each year in fertility drugs - it would be nice to at least get my first prescription this year, as I have no idea what this process will entail and I'm sure we could go through that lump sum pretty quickly!

As far as my goals go, I'm doing okay.  Eating healthy is hard - especially when all I want to do is eat! Reading is going okay - I plan to do a lot over this weekend.  Haven't been to the gym since Thurs. but I will go tomorrow.  Overall, I give myself a 60% on working on goals. 

I feel as though all I do is mope on here - sorry! I guess when I do feel good, I don't feel like writing.  I just keep reminding myself this is a place for me to explore my feelings. 

Until next time . . .